Lost in the Hurt
by BrokenSofia
Summary: Scottie was abbussed as long as she can remember, so she turned to Heroin and alcohol. When she is finally set free from her hell hole life. She moves in with the Cullens, where she meets a certain someone named Paul. On permanent hiatus. Please check my home page for more info.


**Hey you guys! It's Sofia! Okay, so in the previous Author's note. Hmm how do I put this. I was really upset! D:**

**I got absolutely NO feedback what so ever! No one, and I mean NO ONE reviewed, or even sent me a I.M.**

**And let me tell you, as a author, writing really does take a good portion of your day out, and here I am feeling stupid typing up a story that no one even reads!**

**I don't know if I'm wrong but this really is a punch below the belt. **

**If I am wrong then show me I am, PLEASE review. Show me that I do have readers that love my story. As it is, I only usually get 3 reviews. And that's only on good days! If you were a writer, I guess only you would be able to tell how upset I am about this. Us writers really love to hear feedback, and when you don't get any, well it really hurts. I just feel like I'm here wasting my time, doing something that I really love, that no one else is enjoying with me. Please review and tell me that this is being read. PLEASE REVIEW FOR THE SAKE OF THIS STORY! **

**I'm sorry if I sound super bitchy right now, but is it really that hard to review? Feedback is the best, and I never seem to get it. I'm sad now.**

**Well other than that extremely long author's note thingy, here is the epilogue to the new version of ****Lost in the Hurt. ****I hope you guys enjoy this newer version, and I also hope you guys are okay with this change, again I have no clue what you guys think of my decision because I got no feedback. So again I hope you guys enjoy and please review. Also on another not, there's a reason this story is rated M. You'll find out why. And I do not in any way or form promote drug use or getting drunk, and reckless behavior.**

_Disclaimer_: I do not own any of the twilight saga, none of the amazing characters, not even the unbelievably sexy Jacob Black, and equally sexy werewolfs, or vampires. I only own Scottie and any other unknown characters you guys never heard of and this story line. I hold that with pride! :D

Inspired by Taylor Swift's MINE

**Lost in the Hurt **

_Prologue: The beginning_

The hurt.

The undeniable feeling of abandonment.

I felt this all the time. There isn't one day in my life where I can remember feeling loved, cherished, or even beautiful.

In the eyes of everyone else I am Useless, unworthy of their precious time, a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

That's the best way to describe me. Here I am, Scottie, Scottie Taylor Freeman. A 16 year old, stick thin, pale midget.

Laying in my tiny bedroom, on my tiny worn out bed. Drunk off my ass, trying to think of good reason's as to why no one will ever love me.

I quickly took another gulp of Vodka right out of the bottle. After all those thoughts are the ones that lead me to drinking.

I shuddered at the bliss the buzz of drinking was making me feel. I felt like I was floating in the water. Free of this hell hole that was known as my life.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*

"Hey mom! I'm home!" I called as I shut the door the door behind me. I quickly set my baby blue backpack onto our white sofa and headed to the kitchen.

"Hey sweetie! How was school?" My mom asked me as she discarded the bowl of cake mix that she was stirring to greet me.

"Great, how was your day? What's for Lunch?" She chuckled at me before she went back to stirring. "My day was pleasant, and hamburgers with baked beans, corn, and green beans." My mom answered with a sweet smile. My stomach growled involuntarily, and I blushed as my mom giggled at me.

"Dinner won't be ready for another 2 hours, so here. Snack on this. I'll call you down when dinner's ready. My mom said as she handed me a homemade rice crispy treat drizzled with chocolate and nuts, my favorite.

"Thanks mom." I said cheerily as I gave her a quick peck on the check and headed upstairs into my bedroom to do my homework. I quickly plopped down onto my queen sized bed and took a look around.

My bedroom, as big as a master bedroom. Painted white, but covered in pictures and posters. My bed sheets in my favorite color of pale blue, littered in dozens of pillows with elaborate designs in white, black, and silver.

My closet in the far corner; overflowing with designer clothes, shoes, and bags. My white dresser, attached with a mirror, right in front of my bed, matching to my bed. Also littered with make-up, sunglasses, and jewelry of all sorts.

I quickly got up to examine myself in the mirror.

I was beautiful, stunning, drop dead gorgeous.

My peachy skin, glowing pleasantly in the light, also had a slightly pink tint to my checks, giving the illusion that I was blushing.

My lips were full, bottom slightly fuller, making it look like I was pouting, were also a nice pale pink color. With my most favorite freckle, that I call my Marilyn Monroe freckle. Resting on the right side of my upper lip accompanying it.

My grayish-blue eyes sparkled, radiant, and and full of life. My naturally platinum blonde hair in my signature natural ringlets flowing down my back to rest just above my bottom.

I giggled happily as I turned away and sat at my window bench and looked out at the pacific ocean in my backyard, shining brightly, reflecting the rays of light from the harsh sun of San Diego.

In the distance you could see surfers shredding through the water, people basking in the sunlight, and a mother chasing her squealing toddler across the sand.

I sighed contently at the sight before me, pulling out _Romeo and Juliet. _My favorite book, and read quietly to myself basking in the sunlight that seeped through my white laced curtains.

I was lost in the magical words of the book, captivated by the brilliance of Shakespeare's words. There was a light knock at my door that pulled me out of my daze. "Who is it?" I called as I quickly stood and placed my book on my bench, and headed to my double French doors.

"Your mom, my princess." My mom called from the other side. "Come in." I said as I took a seat on my bench again and looked out my window to the ocean again.

I heard a click of a camera go off, and I slowly tore my gaze away from the ocean to look at my mom.

"Beautiful." she whispered as she looked away from the camera. I smiled brightly at her as she took a seat next to me. "So, I was wondering if you'd like to head to the beach after lunch?" She asked me while smoothing out my hair. "Of course I will." I answered happily.

"Lunch is ready, come when you like." She said as she kissed my check and walked out, closing the door behind her. My mom was a true beauty, I got my looks from her.

She had the same skin complex as me. She had a beautiful shade of light brown hair, almost blonde, hair color. The opposite of my platinum blonde, which I inherited from my father, but we both had naturally curly hair in beautiful ringlets. Her hair was cut shorter than mine, just barley stopping in the small of her back. She had Bright blue eyes, while I had my grayish blue, again from my father, while framed by long, thick, black lashes, that also framed mine.

While my mom had a long and lean body, standing at 5'8. I was had a petite body standing at 5'2.

Other than that, I was a complete replica of her. After our lunch I quickly changed into my favorite black bikini, and headed out with my mom.

We laid out towels and basked peacefully in the sunlight, a short while later my father joined us.

"Hey sweetheart, how was your day?" My dad asked with a grin as he bent down and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Good papa, and you?" I asked as I quickly rolled onto my side to see my mom and dad cuddling on my mom's towel.

"Great!" He replied kissing my mom lovingly, and winking at me.

I sighed as I got up and quickly headed to the water with a groan, I so didn't need to see my parents making out.

We stayed outside for a couple more hours till we decided to call it a day.

-#-

I don't know how long I was asleep before I woke up to a gunshot. I jerked out of my bed, my room was dark, gloomy, and errie.

I slowly got out of my bed and quietly walked towards my door. I tip toed to the door, afraid to make a sound. I quietly opened the door, slowly, ever so slowly. I took a step out into the hallway and slowly walked towards the stairs. I grabbed onto the railing and I let out a blood curdling scream.

My mom hung, by her neck, dead. The rope connected to the roof, and the other end connected to my once vibrant mother's dead neck. I almost didn't recognize her, she wasn't the same person I gave a good night kiss to before I went to bed.

She was pale, her bright blue eyes, now a black, and her beautiful brown hair, messy and dirty. And laying on the ground was my dad's lifeless body, in a pool of blood around his head. A visible gunshot wound on his forehead.

I quickly turned and ran into my room, I slammed the door behind me and sunk down to the floor. My sobs shaking my tiny frame.

I stopped crying long enough to hear heavy footsteps. I quickly quieted my sobs and ran towards my closet. I quickly hid in the corner, huddling into a ball and hiding behind my cloths.

Suddenly the footsteps stopped. Nothing, just silence, dead silence.

Suddenly the loud crash of her bedroom door being kicked down, and the footsteps broke the silence.

I closed my eyes and let the silent tears slid down my check, as the footsteps stopped in front of my closet door.

All I could hear was my erratically beating heart, and the quiet panting of the man on the other side of my door.

And from there it was all in slow motion.

My door crashed open, revealing a tall man, pale skin and shaggy blonde hair. It was my father, the addict I knew today, not the body down stairs lying dead.

He slowly took a pistol out and pointed it at my head.

"I love you daddy." Was the last thing I whispered before he pulled the trigger.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

I Jerked off of my bed covered in a layer of sweat. I wildly looked around at the darkness in my bedroom. I was alone.

The dream. That dream, I've had it as long as I can remember, always haunting me.

I threw my ratty old quilt off of me and crawled into the end of my bed and leaned against the wall. Curling into a ball and letting the tears over come my tiny frail stature.

The dream always haunting me of what could of happened. My parents weren't always like this, before the addiction overcame them.

They used to be loving people, a man and a women in love with each other, showering their only daughter with love.

Promising careers, a beautiful house; just like the one in my dream. A mother who let her daughter help prepare dinner, a father who taught her how to ride her bike.

That was all gone, lost in the past.

The addiction came at first in the form of alcohol, then into illegal drugs. I never knew exactly what caused this to happen. I never understood why my parents changed so drastically.

It all happened 10 years ago, I was 16 know. All when I was 6 that they changed.

We know lived in a worn down apartment in the poor side of San Diego. And it seemed as if I didn't exist. I was neglected, never fed, always left to fend for myself. And when they did pay attention was when they were either high or drunk, beating me and leaving me with bruises and cuts.

I quickly shook my head, trying to forget my pathetic excuse of a life.

I dove under my bed and pulled out the only thing that helped me forget other than alcohol.

I pulled out the needle and quickly turned the white pebble into liquid on a spoon with my lighter.

I sucked up the liquid into the needle and aimed for a vein in my left arm. I quickly injected myself with the liquid and was overcome with pure and utter bliss.

The side effect of my heroin use.

I lay back onto my bed and basked in the feeling, the feeling of not being lost in the hurt.

But lost in my blissful state of happiness.

**A/N:**

**On another note, I'm on twitter! :D I will be posting sneak peeks of my story on there, links to songs that go with the chapter, and I will update you guys on the status of this story and any future stories I have in mind. Feel free to ask me questions on there. The link is on my profile, :D. Also I was watching ****The Roommate**** , which is a movie about this crazy psycho chick who is uber creepy and tries to kill or get rid of anyone who gets in the way of her and her roommate's friendship. Well anyways in the beginning, in a scene at a fat party ALEX MERAZ was in it! It was very brief , but I was totally hyper ventilating! He's sooo sexy! Also REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! :D**


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